Thursday, March 5, 2009

BREAKING NEWS FLASH.... THURSDAY

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE DESK OF TAPE GUNS ANONYMOUS...

There were 12,000,063 snarling owl babies seen invading airspace over Uzbekistan early next week, in clear violation of the Inability Pact of 473 B.C., according to German authorities. What this means in relation to the flaking of egg shells has yet to be determined. Farming equipment was instrumental to the compartmentalization of gourds. The engorgement will proceed to become a malapropism of sorts.

In other news, the narcissistic embolism cannot be undermined by bloviated Peruvian sloth toenails. There will be no implications of garishness to the harem procession. Any assistance can be directed to the National Rifle Association's office of foreign affairs.

This has been a news flash. Now back to your regularly scheduled fish feeding.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

gloated loins

Dough rollers and plaque inscriptions are similar to my ankle. Or pastry oven. Here is the conversation between the digits.

roller: Hey you, I have a pinecone shaped interphalangeal joint.

oven: Perhaps you should have a dermatologist pee on your nose hairs.

roller: I have acted rashly.

ankle: Goat cheese is said to have phlebotomic value.

inscriptions: No, you feline intentional foul.

oven: Blasted fools and their wee little handlebars.

roller: You should've consulted Mr. Galapagos for the password to the garden gnomes.


And so goes the dialogue betwixt all the genomes and particles.
Please refrain from describing this interaction to any and all antelopes.

Toke Q

Ordinary plucking devices are like a time machine. Oh, for the sake of placation devices, says the torpid jackalope. Can you hear all the ringers from Doug Flutie's cell phone? They are telling me to pretend I am Hugh Jackman. You know, the guy that has big chops in that movie about the mutant superheros. What's the name of it? Oh yeah, Clerks. Or was that the movie about the snakes on an airplane? Maybe the one with Denzel Washington's nephew's dog. Or perhaps I am meandering around the 9mm blanks.